There are about 5 people in my life who have really ruined things between us. I am an incredibly irritating person, in fairness to them, but they have crossed over into Lord Voldemort territory.
Through true selfishness or cruelty without remorse, we have parted ways, and badly.
That being said, I am also not a vindictive person. Well, anymore. I have Biblically forgiven them, and truly do wish them well. I would give anything somedays to have things back to before we were ever supposed to hate them. Like singing our hearts out to Goodbye Earl before we hated the Dixie Chicks or even knew a slime bag like Earl existed in real life.
But he does, and the right thing is to part ways, and not try to fix what’s broken.
And sometimes that person stole so much from you, from your family, and worst of all, from one precious little boy, the violation is so deep that you have to just leave it.
And then one shocking day, you find yourself at his funeral, which you swear you dreamed of in the height of his insult. And you find yourself praying that maybe God had reached him. And finding that you really had forgiven him, and now even that divides the people you love, and wondering how you’ll feel when this happens again.
Because there’s no escaping how very much I wish there weren’t four other people with nothing left between us but the empty space of hate, cauterized by forgiveness.
Oh Mary, pray for us.
Sometime the song says what you can’t:
“Over You” by Miranda Lambert
BigLittleDays 